A parent's care
When the family agrees about love and disagrees about everything else
Most families are not fighting about whether to look after a parent. They are disagreeing about where she lives, who handles the bills, and why one sibling is doing more than the others.
I sit with all of you, and with your parent when they want to be there, until there is a plan everyone has heard and helped shape. I am not anyone's lawyer, and I don't decide what is best for your parent.
What families bring to the table
Each of these sounds practical and carries a great deal of history. We take them one at a time.
- 01
Where your parent lives
Staying home with help, moving in with one of you, or a community that offers care, and who decides when it is time to revisit.
- 02
Who does what
Visits, appointments, meals, the paperwork. A written split that stops one person quietly carrying all of it.
- 03
Money and the house
Who pays for care, how the family keeps track, and what happens with the house. If a lawyer's advice is needed, I'll say so.
- 04
Your parent’s voice
When your parent can speak for themselves, they set the terms. I make sure that, in the room, they are asked first.
Who can take part, and who should not decide alone
Adult children, a spouse, a trusted friend and your parent can all be at the table. Anyone may bring a lawyer. If your parent has a guardian or an agent under a power of attorney, that person joins too.
If a parent's ability to make decisions is in doubt, I will say that mediation may need to wait for advice from a doctor or a lawyer. I am a neutral and I can't make that call.
Questions from adult children
Does my parent need to be there?
Not for every session. I ask them what they want, and I never plan around a person who is not there to speak for themselves.
We live in different states. Can we still do this?
Yes. Sessions run by video, and I send a written summary to everyone after each one.
Is this a substitute for a will or a power of attorney?
No. Mediation helps the family agree on a plan. A lawyer prepares the documents that carry it out.
Talk through your situation
Twenty minutes on the phone, free, to see whether mediation fits.