First session
What happens in a first mediation session, start to finish
Who talks first, what I ask you to bring, and what you walk out with after the first two hours.
Lenore Kellerman6 min read
Lenore Kellerman, mediator in Portland
You two know your answer better than a judge would
I'm a lawyer who now works only as a mediator. I don't take a side, I don't give either of you legal advice, and I don't decide who is right. I ask the questions, keep the talk moving, and write down what you agree so you leave with a plan you can sign. Below is how I work, and three sample matters with their figures.
Even
I represent neither of you, and I say so firstCandid
I say what I see, and I tell you the fee up frontYours
Every term in the agreement is one you chose
A first session, out loud
What the first two hours are like
I walk through a first session as I run it: who sits where, what I say before anyone speaks, and the moment most people start to relax.
A first mediation session, start to finish
Guides
Two guides to read before you call
Written by me, for whichever of you is reading first. Send the links to the other person; it helps if you both arrive knowing the same things.
LawyersDo we each need our own lawyer?
A mediator can't advise either of you. Here is when a lawyer helps, and the three moments to bring one in.
Lenore Kellerman5 min read
Worked examples
Three sample matters, with the figures
Invented for illustration, with the hours and how the fee was split. Every matter is different, and none of these predicts yours or what any mediation will cost.
- Separation
Two parents, one school year
They lived eleven minutes apart and wanted a schedule that would survive soccer season. We built a week-by-week plan, a holiday rotation and a way to change plans without a fight.
How separation mediation worksThree sessions of two hours
Billed by the hour, split evenly
Each had a lawyer read the plan
- A parent's care
Three siblings, one mother’s house
Their mother wanted to stay home. Two of her children worried, one lived out of state. Two video sessions gave them a care schedule, a bill-paying arrangement and a date to revisit it.
How family care mediation worksTwo video sessions of two hours
Billed by the hour, split three ways
Their mother joined the second call
- Business partners
Two co-owners, one lease
One partner wanted out and the other wanted the shop. We settled the buyout price, a payment schedule and who would tell the landlord, then sent it to each partner's lawyer.
How partner mediation worksFour sessions of two hours
Billed by the hour, split evenly
Both lawyers reviewed the terms
A first call
Start with twenty minutes on the phone
Tell me what's going on and I'll say whether mediation fits. Either of you can call; the other doesn't have to be on the line.
The call is free. After that, sessions are billed by the hour at a rate quoted in writing, split evenly unless you agree otherwise, and each of you may bring your own lawyer.
